‘My name is Khan’ – Koffee illai…Semma Kadi with Karan!!

The protagonist Rizzu (portrayed by SRK) is a loosu with sparks of superior intelligence. He is ultra sensitive to the color yellow and loud noises (wonder how they will remake this in telugu!!) Hello… autistic is not equal to being a retard… it is a special psychological condition. I am not sure why the director chose this condition for the hero (maybe a cheap tactic to jumpstart the tearglands). Everyone is going gaga about this movie saying that SRK acted very well. Well for me, it was just that he was not being himself. That’s definitely not superior acting..or is it ?

In the beginning, his blank stares made me think he was blind. Then, his constant repeating made me think he was an amnesia patient a la Ghajini. Finally some overacting scary evil immigration officers indirectly help you find out that he is an autistic person.

I was happy for one that SRK refrained from airing his armpits in his characteristic arm raising pose in this movie. The director cleverly achieved this by giving him 3 stones whose weight kept his hands down all the time. Smart move.

The story is quite simple – how dutiful innocent hubby Rizzu Khan travels all of America stalking Mr. President to tell him that he is not a terrorist just because his ‘high pitch decibel splitting’ words spewing darling wife (Kajol) tells him to do just that. Her son (ahem..an American Indian born kid with an Indian accent! - maybe to please the Thackerays?) dies due to the animosity post 9/11.

‘My name is Khan.. kh..kh.. from the epiglottis and I am not a terrorist’ was his message as he went along meticulously training all and sundry like a Call Center Accent trainer. What an idea sirji! This and a hazaar emotional tugs jointly by KJ, SRK and lady K had me rolling my balls – err.. I meant eyeballs over and over again. The whole movie is peppered with eyeball rolling moments including some scenes where our Rizzu helps an entire village where cows outnumber the people (odd in a beef eating country - guess they were on a ‘chicken only’ diet) and the people (predominantly African Americans) sang an English version of ‘hum honge kamyaab’ in their church choir (sorry, no AB Sr/Jr style hiphop ‘huh huh’ in between) !! Sigh. This gets national / International media coverage including our very own ‘Barkwas’ dutt who was as usual buck bucking in a fleeting scene. I got tired after so much eyeball rolling that I decided to look at the ceiling for sometime as a respite. I now realize that the whole movie was indirectly such a good exercise for sore eyes.

It was also an aurally trying experience, with lot of chaste Urdu which I could not fathom and a really lonely guy belting out sad sufi type wails in the background.

Oh, there were some good scenes too in between too which made the film a tad more enjoyable than a Vijaykant movie. There are some sensitive moments, poignant moments and clever metaphors. But like Rizzu’s sparks of intelligence they just remain sparks everywhere. Kajol does this hyperactive role which makes you wonder if she is also suffers from some mental disorder. Nevertheless, she looks beautiful with minimal makeup (think she has to overact that way in real life to evoke any expression out of her real life husband - Deadpan Devgan). There are several good actors who come as fleeting appearances which makes you think that they could have been used better. I would have killed myself if Karan did a cameo at the end (remember KS Ravikumar - ‘ulaga nayaganae…’ (sic)). Thankfully, all your fears don't materialize and this nightmare didn't.


My overall verdict –
My name is Khan - too much gyaan (read hype). SRK can sure entertain but can he act? A big no! In Rizzu’s ammi’s words, there are only 2 types of movies – good or bad. This is one is BAD. Period.